Limits

Most parents react to their independent toddlers with limits.  Things may dissolve into an exhausting barrage of “No, Don’t Touch, Stop, Stop Hitting etc.”  Imagine that your child has the ability to stop him(her) self even at 18 months.

Yes, developmentally the challenge is to recognize they are separate from you, thus toddlers expressed feelings through “no, mine” language.  However….let’s see how the self regulation works in toddlers.

What is it really like?

If you have a toddler you may long for bedtime when your child is finally settled and calm, attentive and connected, listening totally absorbed as you read a bedtime story.  For you it may seem like you have become a traffic cop during the day.  It may seem that your toddler requires you to constantly direct his or her every move.

Well, I don’t mean to shock you … but not only is your toddler able to have his or her own traffic light, but your job is to shift from limit maker/enforcer to possibility maker.  When you are the possibility maker your toddler takes on the role of self-regulation.   Think of it this way, “when we finish this we get to chose what to do next”.

But Sandra, come on!  If toddlers were older they could understand but they need limits more than anything now.

Toddlers Need Limits

Sure, toddlers need limits.  But in working with scores of parents just like you I have found, by following a few simple guidelines, you can help your child self-regulate.  When your child self-regulates you can experience more success than you ever imagined!

Mindset

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