Change The Word Chores
The word “chore” is probably my least favorite word, and chances are your kids and teens hate that word too. But if your house is anything like mine, the word “chore” is very alive. It seems simple from a parents’ perspective. You want your kids to do chores to help teach them responsibility, to help them develop long lasting life skills, and don’t lie, the extra help around the house never hurts. But we don’t see it that way. For me it was “You’re too lazy to do it yourself, so you just make me do it.”
You may or may not have a chore chart for your kids. You may even give them a weekly or monthly allowance for the chores they do around the house. Now all of this is awesome except, how do you get them to do the chores with a good attitude? Now I’m not an expert on the behavior aspect, that’s Sandra, but I can tell you this. I believe chores are worth it. Don’t give in and just have someone else to it, make you kids do it.
Now That I Am A Little Older
Now that I am a little older and understand why my mom forced chores upon me, I’m highly appreciative. I now have the confidence to live on my own, which is coming down the road in the next couple of years. Most of my friends don’t even know how to do a load of laundry because their parents have done it for them, their whole life. But not my mom, and because of all the chores I was given as a kid I am not going to have to worry about living on my own. I will be able to take care of myself and my place and be fully self-sufficient. And isn’t that what parenting is all about? Giving your kid the confidence to go out into the real world? I think it is.
A Favor or A Chore… Is It The Word That Matters Or Getting It Done
One suggestion I have is to ask it as a favor, don’t label it as a chore. Most of the people I asked on Facebook responded to me saying they never had legit chores, or at least they weren’t called that. They simply had their parents ask them to do them a favor. And from the looks of it they responded well. If you think about it which one honestly, would you like better? “You need to water the plants before you leave.” Or “Do you think you could water the plants before you go out?”
But What If You View It As A Chore, Not A Favor
Now if you don’t agree with this favor approach because you feel chores are not favors, they’re a family obligation, that’s fine. Think of this as simply tricking your kids and teens into wanting to do the chores for you. So all in all, I do believe chores are worth it. No one really likes them but they are necessary.
good thought… what do you suggest for the “favor” if the child will MOST of the time respond with “Um NO!” and turn around and walk out. My kids are 5&6 right now. They see how much it takes of me to keep the house organized and running smooth. I let them see first hand that if they don’t keep their things organized that they will be late of their “fun stuff” like soccer or tae kwan do. If they dont keep their uniforms in the same place or if they don’t make sure their uniforms are clean then they know they will be late OR stinky. They need some reminding sometimes but for the most part they are pretty good about it. Now on the other hand i praise my daughter VERY highly since she is usually the more compliant one (now, which i hear from Sandra this will soon change) then my son will try and rise to the occasion by putting a smile on his face while he is trudging his laundry to the garage.. I am pretty sure that if I asked hom to “please can you do X?” the answer will be “UMM, NO!” but can you think of another way that I could ask him that would sound more respectful and considerate?
Thank You
If they say no you can try giving them a non-threatening ultimatum. You could say, “You know the laundry has to be done before soccer tomorrow.” Another option would be to have your kids write to me about chores. I can explain to them why doing chores works out better for them then not doing them. Maybe hearing it from someone who still deals with parents will be more influential than hearing it from their own parents. Or at least it makes it more interesting for them. They know they won’t have to deal with consequences from me, just advice. Whichever option you choose, I hope your kids find chores beneficial long before I was able to.
THANK YOU!
First of all…wow! The title of this post is “Chores coming from a Kids’ perspective…” It was a well-thought out, well-written post with a mature perspective. It didn’t sound at all like it came from a “kid’s perspective”. Good food for thought as I transition my 3-year old into learning to clean up after himself. Right now he loves to “help” put his clothes in the laundry hamper and even load the washer and dryer sometimes. I have to admit I haven’t really thought about chores too much yet, even though it won’t be long before it’s a topic of dicussion. It’s good to know that you already recognize that doing those chores was worth it. I have to say I agree with you. When I was growing up, I didn’t have chores per se but I came from a large family and it was just expected that you would help. Like you I got to my college years being able to do laundry, iron (very well I might add), clean, cook roast dinners, sew on a button…I have friends in their 30s who still don’t know how to do some of the things I learned as a kid.
Keep up the great work!!